


Floral Arrangements

by Mister Bates (Panikeet)



Category: Cuphead (Video Game)
Genre: Above all else this is gonna be a rom com, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Arranged Marriage, Comedy, F/M, FTM Reader, I wanna marry him ??, Infidelity, LISTEN. I AM SO IN LOVE WITH CAGNEY, M/M, Post-Break Up, Reader is a transguy, Reader-Insert, Romantic Comedy, Slow Burn, Taming of the shrew AU basically, These tags are not in order, Ugh, You phuck the clown and it doesn't end well, after all the drama and sexTM happens
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-01-31 11:53:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12681357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panikeet/pseuds/Mister%20Bates
Summary: You blew it! You were going to marry rich, you were engaged to the Baroness but you blew it. Nice going. You fucked up a perfectly good marriage is what you did. Now who are you going to marry!? Well, there's one fellow who owns quite a bit of land, and your parents really seem to fancy him...





	1. A Good Fuckin' Time Never Hurt Nobody

**Author's Note:**

> My phone kept autocorrecting Floral Fury to Floral Arrangement and I'm like 'yo holy shit what if' and that's how this was made Blease enjoy this Wilde Ride

Baroness von Bon Bon is your fiance. You two are deeply, deeply in love. Right? Right, yes of course. You love her, despite the fact that she's moody all the time, impossible to please, and for someone who's supposed to be the duchess of all things sweet, is so damn _bitter_ about every little thing.

Today was no exception. First thing in the morning, and Bonnie's already hissing at you for something you couldn't even process it was so early. You had absently told her not to "lose her head over it", and she got accordingly pissed. 

That's when you decided to take a walk. You were surprised at just how long it's been since you even stepped foot out of the Manor walls. The Isle seemed new again, and you barely recognized it though it most likely hadn't changed a bit.

You took in the fresh air like you'd been drowned. It felt so nice to be out of the manor, in fact, you never realized it before, but it was so stuffy and unpleasant sometimes. You should really get out more often.

I mean, just look at all the sights to see! Your fiance is pissed, so why not make your walk of shame a little less shameful and take a scenic hike? Like uh... Ooh! A carnival in the distance! Has that always been there? 

You go to check it out, and y'know, like, treat yourself.

It doesn't take long to get there, it's actually just a short walk from the trail you were taking, and before you knew it you were at the gates of a carnival.

"Oooh!" You gasped in delight. "I haven't been to one of these since I was a kid." And with that, you decided to to have a look around. People were flashing by in speeding roller coasters and spinning on other sorts of rides. 

"(Y/n)?" You jumped a bit at the voice that so clearly knew your name, to see Beppi the clown standing over you. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" You bit your lip, nervously. Of course Beppi was here. He probably owned the place. See? This is precisely why you needed to get out more, you lost your common sense.

Now, Beppi and you don't really have any ill will towards each other. No, in fact, he only has ill will towards your soon to be wife. Or rather, she hates the piss and shit out of him and he thinks she's rude. It's a very common relationship, actually. People used to question why you were engaged to her, before she found out and started threatening them with death sentences.

The real reason behind your relationship wasn't one you were ashamed of, but certainly wasn't one you blurted out to anybody. Yes, you loved your fiance. You loved her as much as anyone set into an arranged marriage with a cranky Baroness could. But the original backbone in your union was the fact that she was rich, and your parents has connections. 

With all the money you've been handed, the least you could do was endure constant scrutiny from each and every one of Bonnie's many enemies simply because you were to be married to her, right? Right, of course.

And anyways, specifically one of them would be Beppi.

"I uh... I just am taking a walk, y'know?" You shrugged. "Carnival just looked like a lot of fun." You grinned sheepishly. Beppi raised his eyebrows and nodded slowly. You weren't quite sure what this meant.

"You're absolutely right, my friend! Hey, why don't you come with me? You're my guest and I would love to treat you to some of the wonders of my amusement park!" Beppi gleefully cheered and grabbed you by the wrist, tugging you with him through the park.

You yelped, not quite frightened but certainly surprised. But as Beppi marched hand in hand with you you began to chuckled. He didn't have any cruel intent.

 

That isn't to say his intent was pure. 

"Step right up! Don't be shy!" Beppi crowed and hopped into a rollercoaster seat, patting the one next to his. You got in without hesitation and enjoyed a swerving round that left adrenaline dancing through your veins, and all to eager when Beppi later pulled you aside into a tent.

The two of you, giggling like children with a hilarious secret, alone in the tent. If you were being honest, it wasn't unlike those days when you'd sneak off to kiss your childhood crush, giddy and knowing consequences would be severe if you were found out. In this scenario, the Baroness was like your mother. The thought left a bad taste in your mouth. She was too much like a nagging mother sometimes than you'd like to admit.

But back to Beppi. 

Beppi the clown, who hated your fiance. Beppi the clown that you were now kissing feverishly with your back against a file cabinet in a closed up ticket booth. You had his head cupped in your hands and your eyes shut tight and you hummed into his mouth. He reached down and grabbed your ass, giving it a squeeze before you parted your lips from his a split second to groan in approval.

Beppi lifted you up and sat you on the cabinet, letting you reach around his hips with your legs and pull him in close. You felt Sparks in the floor of your pelvis as his firm knob tenting the fabric of his crotch was pressed up against you.

 Beppi moved his lips eagerly against yours, and you parted ever so slightly to let your tongue slip out. It was immediately greeted by Beppi's, and you hummed in delight. He tasted like cotton candy and funnel cake. 

Beppi let his hand wander to your chest, and down your waist to your belly, his gloved thumb circling over you affectionately. In invitation, you pulled his hand between  your legs and he gave a firm squeeze in acknowledgement, his fingers going up and dipping down beneath the hem of your trousers. You spread your legs and panted as Beppi released you from a steamy kiss to attack your neck.

He licked up the side,  peppered it with kisses, and sucked like it would save his life, all while his now ungloved hand explored your sensitive wet cunt. Your own hands had weaved fingers through the seam of Beppi's jumpsuit, drawing out his cock and giving it slow pumps, and lingering at the tip.

The desire flaring up inside you was maddening. This decision was such a terrible one, you were shocked that you were sober. Or perhaps you weren't, perhaps something in the amusement park food mixed with adrenaline and  _actually having a good time with someone for once_ was getting to you. 

Either way, you had both stripped down. Beppi had been patient with your binder and kept himself aroused while you wrenched the bloody thing off. Without a single complaint or whine that "it took so long it killed the mood". The Baroness never did that.

Beppi only grinned eagerly and swooped in to kiss you, which you responded by grinding your body against him and wrapping your arms around him over his shoulders. His thumbs went to circling your nipples, pinching and pressing while you arched your back, moaning. You lifted your knees and pushed him by the ass into you. 

He wrapped his arms around your waist and started thrusting, his pace steady, not too slow, and excited. He whined softly every time his hips smacked into yours. You were on fire, loving the feeling of his cock pistoning away inside you, getting off to Beppi's rythmic humping and his face in sheer bliss. His expression switched from gritted teeth and shut eyes to a barely open and half lid. 

You moaned, reaching your hand around and letting it trail down, Beppi's hand met yours and gave a little push of encouragement, and whispered a little "yes!" to let you proceed to push your fingers into his entrance. You grinned, eyes dazed from Beppi's cock thrusting into you, creating a sinfully delicious sound every time it entered and retreated through the muscular walls of your cunt.

Beppi gave a loud moan and closed the same between you two, his thrusts now shaking you as you groaned and pleased for more. Your fingers curled and we're squeezed inside Beppi, who's eyes went wide and tongue hung out the side. Beppi decided to give you something extra as well, as his thumb circled just above your union, and your body  shuddered.

He pressed into your clit harder, and felt the erect little cock stark against his digit. And with his cock, plunged deep inside you, hitting just the right spot and his hand working away at your heat, you climaxed, hard. You hit your peak in a guttural howl, nearly breathless. You hardly processed what happened next from your hazy state, but you got Beppi off through his ass and his orgasm was more of a squeal. 

He came hard, and right onto the floor. You said you'd stay to help clean that all up. You stayed longer. A day past. You stayed longer. It wasn't for almost three days that you finally remembered your fiance and went back to the manor. 

She was accordingly pissed.

And when she found out, she said it was over.


	2. No Sugarcoating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh wOw howdy y'all how ya living? I have a feeling this chapter is a little all over the place and I promise I'm not horrible with pacing but I reeeeeally want to introduce the Main Boiye™ so I didn't spend an entire chapter for each time You do something shitty merci

You sat outside the castle with all your things packed up. You lit yourself a cigar and cringed. It tasted too sweet. Baroness Von Bon Bon stormed past you, fists clenched and chartreuse eyes glaring ahead. Yours followed her form lazily. She had stopped in front of your two old parents, saying something you didn't catch. Her hands clenched and unclenched, pointed furiously at you, three themselves upwards, and balled into fists as she ranted on and on. 

Yourparents' faces went from concern, to horror, to bewilderment and some sorry expression you didn't care to look at for long. You didn't even bother to listen to what your now ex fiance had to say. You took a last draft of the cigar and tossed it to the ground, stomping on it and grinding it with your boot into the ground. Something in you felt just a bit more free when you stomped that piece of the Baroness into the ground too.

You heaved yourself up and stretched, hauled your luggage to the automobile and loaded them in. Your parents looked at you with solemn silence, gesturing with discreet nods towards Bon Bon. 

Say something (y/n), they seemed to say, say something and take your last chance to make things right.You smiled dumbly and turned towards her.

She raised an eyebrow, her arms crossed and foot tapping. You saluted.

"It was nice while it lasted, Bonnie. I'm gonna miss spending all your fuckin' money." You blew a kiss and got into the back seat of the car, pulling out a cigar from the cup holder. She was probably screaming something obscene and full of swears at you, but as always, you didn't care to listen. You stared out the window as you were driven away. 

Thecigar tasted bitter and smokey.

It felt real, and it felt free.

 

\---∆---

 

"What were you tHINKING!?" Your mother, Ramona, screamed hysterically. "You had it ALL, kid! You had a beautiful wife with lots of money- LOTS OF IT!"

"I didn't love her," You said casually between puffs of smoke. "Didn't love me neither."

"So you could have had an affair once you two were MARRIED. You could have gone and fooled around with whomever you damn well pleased once you had a good trip on that fortune! But no, you'd rather throw it all away getting a good grip on some fool's-"

"Your mother is right." Your father, Ramsey, cut her off. "You made a poor decisions."

"So what are we gonna do about it?" Romona threw her hands up in frustration.

"You could try letting me have a say innit'." You snorted sarcastically. "And let you screw it up again just like you did with this one? Uh-uh. Absolutely not." You and your father watched her pace and mutter things under her breath, occasionally shouting curses in her native language. The two of you exchanged glances and stifled chuckles. Ramona spun around pointed aggressively at her husband.

"Do  _not_ encourage him!" She squawked, and both you and your father burst out laughing. It was contagious, and the three of you ended up barking in laughter.

"You know," Ramona wiped a tear from her eyes, her giggles calming down. "I never liked the broad! I just wanted you to marry rich- eheheheeheehee!"

"No way, really ma?" You asked sarcastically and the three of you howled. Everything was a mess, but the slate was clean. You were still learning, all three if you. This too shall pass.

 

\---∆---

 

That night, you slept in the room you had grown up in. It felt good to finally be home, and you realized just how much you missed this old house. 

That didn't stop you from sneaking out that night. You hopped from the window and dashed down the street, took a few turns, and reached your destination purely from memory. The brisk night air fueled you, and you didn't stop till you were at the entrance of the amusement park.

Giddy, you hopped the fence and past the ticket entrance. You couldn't wait to see Beppi. You felt tight from the moment you two had touched that there was chemistry. How could there not be? You felt so alive together. Plus, he obviously felt the same for you as well. 

You walked in, your heart pounding. Looking around, you located a source of light coming from a tent. Your heart fluttered.

It was the same tent which the two of you had made love.

You smoothed down your hair and bit your lip, strutting around the side, intending to circle till you found the slit opening.

Your steps faltered when you heard a giggle you didn't recognize. Was someone else inside?

You heard Beppi's distinct squeal and smiled. No, that was definitely him. Your smile dropped. Why was he making those sounds? It picked itself back up in a smirk when you realized that he was most definitely touching himself.

And he was most definitely thinking of you. You bit your lip again, feeling the  energy coursing through you. You were oh so ready, and knowing that he was to-

It shook you to the core when you found out he was with someone else. You heard the unfamiliar voice let out a sigh and groan Beppi's name, and your blood ran cold. You peeked inside, dread poisoning you. 

Beppi was in someone's lap, grinding eagerly. Your mind went a mile a minute. Who the fuck is that!? Have you seen him before? You have. Bon Bon once called him over for business. He was a genie. Genni? Gemmi? Djimmi. Djimmi the great. What was Beppi doing with him?

How did he get over you so fast?

Didn't what you two had mean anything?

How could he just throw that away like that?

Your face twisted as you silenced a sob, turning and dashing away. You weren't thinking of it at the moment, but you could assume, if she really ever cared about you, that perhaps Bon Bon once thought the same about what you've done. 

You stopped at a seedy bar, dragging yourself in and ordering a glass of scotch. You took a few sips and began to cry. It was painful, almost. Silent so sorry, shaking shoulders, and blinding tears. A few patrons glanced over at you and looked away. It wasn't their place.

It felt like a year had passed, but you finally left and dragged your sorry ass home. The sun was almost up, and as soon as you got to your room, you collapsed into your bed and knocked out cold.

You woke up late the next morning and plopped one foot after the other down the stairs, rubbing your eyes as you smelled the familiar scent of your dad's french toast sizzling in the pan. 

"G'morning." You mumbled and nearly fell over. We're you still asleep? Or was there was a giant carrot sitting across the table from your mother.

"Good morning, (y/n)!" Ramona chirped. "This is Mr. Psycarrot, he has a wonderful offer for you regarding your current... Situation."


	3. Budding Opputunity

"Oh! Uh... Hello, sir." You coughed and rubbed the back of your head. "What do you uh... What do you know?"  
Psycarrot raised an eyebrow as he sipped his coffee. Immediately you flushed with embarrassment.  
"I mean-- About my situation. Predicament? I... I dunno." You wearily rubbed your eyes. "Sorry. It's early."

  
"I know that your promise to the Baroness was terminated, and you're currently seeking a new relationship."  
"Ha, sure." You laughed humorlessly as you reached for a cigarette on the counter. 'Looking' was a strong word. More accurately, it was your parents looking frantically to get you out of the house to prevent you from settling, and never leaving their house.

You had almost reached the cigarette when your father slapped your hand away. "Ow- I mean, yeah. Yeah, I'm looking for a new relationship."

  
"Good to hear." The large carrot glanced over at your mother who sat across from him. "I'll talk to ol' Cags about this. I think he's a good match and honestly, he needs to get back on the market. He owns land and has a pretty penny if that makes a difference." He added.

  
"Oh yes, that makes all the difference!" Your mother nodded eagerly, clasping her hands together and earning a sigh of embarrassment from you as you filled a mug with steaming coffee.  
"Noted." Psycarrot said with a nod.

You looked off into the distance beyond the kitchen window. It looked brighter than it did in the house, though the windows allowed ample light into the room. Perhaps it was just that it was more colorful than the shades of soft grays and whites that made up most of this house. It was cozy, and familiar. But then again, wouldn't any asylum patient start to feel the same way to their white walls? 

"So why not you?" You suddenly challenged, not taking your gaze from the vivid greens and blues of the outdoor world as you brought a cigarette to your lips.

"Pardon?" Psycarrot looked up at you from his mug. Your mother appeared physically uncomfortable at you suddenly speaking. You didn't even have to peek over your shoulder to know she looked uneasy, you could feel the dread radiating from behind you. You didn't exhale but instead let the smoke trail upwards from your nose and mouth.

"Why don't you marry me?" You leaned you cheek in your fist, elbow propped on the chair behind you. Your bagged eyes slid over to him. "Do you not find me desirable? The ex lover of the Baroness?" Your voice was suddenly formal, the tone you've perfected whilst being at the right hand of royalty.

Everything in the room seemed to stiffen, but you simply continued to press.

"Mr. Psycarrot... Psy, can I call you Psy?" He opened his mouth to object but you were a moment quicker. "Do you think I'm handsome? Pretty? How about sexually attractive? Wouldn't you want to marry me instead?" Your words could be taken as misguided, innocent in a way, but your tone had something angry within... Even malicious. It was clear as day you were testing him.

"Think about it, you, me, on our wedding night. Wouldn't that be nice? Being stuck with me for the rest of your life? I bet you'll like it. It's like having your own little private prostitute because that's all I'm good for. You put in a coin and I put out, I'm like a little machine. Doesn't that sound good? They'll pawn me off to you for the rest of my sorry little life and you can just-" Your father gripped your shoulder firmly.

"(Y/n) that is ENOUGH." You hadn't noticed yourself tearing up, gripping the cigarette so hard ash stained your hands. You hadn't even noticed the burns it left in your palms. "Apologize to Mr. Psycarrot." 

"Apologize to Mr. Psycarrot"? The way he said that was patronizing, like you were a little kid who refused to share. Like a child who threw a tantrum. You clung to that thought. You are like a child. You're immature, bratty, and selfish, and they know this damn well. And they treat you like a child, yet they marry you off. Knowing damn well you're nothing but a child.

"I think this proves I'm not fit for a relationship at the moment, thank you for your time, good day." You wiped your eyes and briskly walked out of the house, slamming the door.

You heard commotion coming from the house and you turned the corner in time to watch from the shadows as your mother begged the giant carrot not to leave. It serves them right. Love fucking hates you. If you can't be happy, they can't be rich.

In a daze, you walk away, following nothing but the heavy clouds and scent of something floral.


End file.
